Day 16: Full of hope for a sober Christmas

Okay, I’ll begin by addressing the elephant in the blog room. It’s been a month since I posted Day 13: Little sober wins and today’s post is titled Day 16. It won’t take a rocket scientist to work out I had a slip. It was my work’s Christmas party, which was practically in motion from the moment I walked through into the office at 9 am. I had lots of safety measures in place, but the cries of don’t be boring and just have one got too much for me. In the end, I caved.

Thankfully, there were no big dramas or tears. Just a killer hangover and the unavoidable realisation that I need to put my sobriety first. In my heart, I knew I wasn’t ready for such a boozy bonanza so early in sobriety, but I didn’t want to let anyone down. Ironically, I ended up letting myself down. I have no intention of doing it again. Well, not with a G&T anyway…eating three doughnuts in a row is a different matter.

Back to the here and now! As I type this, I’m bobbing about on my little pink cloud and glowing with sober joy after a wonderful zoom with the accountability group I’ve joined for the Christmas and New Year period. It’s so nice to hear other people’s stories, speak to people who get it (and by “it” I mean how 1 drink is too many and 100 isn’t enough), and be part of something so special. Everyone in the group is lovely and we all truly want each other to succeed. I’m so bloody grateful I took a leap of faith and joined!

You can probably guess that this will be my first sober Christmas, probably since I was about 14, *queue dramatic DUN DUN DUN music*. For those who can’t imagine a non-boozy Christmas, believe me, I sometimes think I’ve gone mad too. But then I remember how awful I felt last year. How one day I was so hungover I thought I genuinely might die. Seriously, it was that bad. I don’t want that for myself this year. I want to present enough to feel the real magic of Christmas which, despite what that voice in my head tells me, will not be found at the bottom of a bottle of Disaronno. It will be found in the beautiful moments that I will actually be able to remember. It will be found in the quiet of the hangover-free morning. Joy won’t be on hold until the first beer is cracked, it will be free-flowing as it is now. Or when my family don’t have me contemplating if I could handle the jail time.  

If you’re rocking Christmas sober and have any tips and tricks that you’re happy to share, please do! They’ll be very much appreciated.

Much love all.

P x

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